A I do most mornings, I opened my Facebook account this morning, however, this morning there was one of their short videos on the top of my newsfeed to recognise friends day. A nice wee video which highlights some nice memories of good times I have shared with friends and family.
It does seem though that we have a day for everything now. Friends Day though makes me think about not only he friends I have in my life now but also those who have come and gone over the years at various stages of my life – something I am sure we all go through. More importantly are those who are always constant – those people who come into our lives through chance meetings, who we just click with and they stick around. Those friends who are there in good times and bad.
If we are really lucky, we will have some friends now who have been there since nursery or primary school and remain close to this day. I no longer see any of the people I was friends with as a child. I’m not sad about that – we all moved on and sites like facebook allow us all the opportunity to catch up on what long lost school friends are up to (that is if we want to go venturing into the past – sometimes, it’s best leaving the past where it is). People who have grown up with social media as a norm in life won’t lost touch with people in the same way we did years ago as they are already connected vis facebook, Instagram, twitter etc.
In terms of friends, we go through phases of our lives: school; college or university; work and other organisations or clubs we join. Perhaps our late teens and early twenties is when our circle of friends is at its largest through being friends with many groups of people, offering a whirl of social activities to keep a full diary. Certainly that was the case for me. There were university friends, friends from part time jobs and then ultimately friends from my first foray into the world of responsible work.
Where are they all now, they were right for me and vice versa at the time but life changes for everyone as we get older. People move, have children, settle down and we all go through various ups and downs. My own social habits have certainly changed and I would not thank anyone for a full social diary any more. Maybe that’s why as we get older, we don’t feel the need for a large number of friends – just a small circle we know will always be there and who we will also be there for. Or maybe as we grow up, we realise who is important and who is merely an acquaintance, passing through our lives – right for that time but not forever. There are people in my life who have been friends at different points of my life who if I met up with them tomorrow, it would seem like the years hadn’t separated us and we would pick up as if we’d been out last week but there are others who I would have trusted completely at some point in my life but they then let me down badly and would never trust again.
I also think we become more settled into our own lives and don’t accept putting up with people’s nonsense and stupid games – they are either a friend or not. Not someone who fleets in and out on a whim and expects everyone to be at their back and call. I know I no longer need the drama that comes with friends like that.
Now I have reached my forties I have a small group of close friends who I trust implicitly and love our ladies lunches. There is one in particular who has been part of my life for over twenty years now. We met on the first day at university and gave been a constant in each others lives ever since. We don’t live close to each other but we don’t let that stop us meeting up regularly and when we do always feels like we only saw each other the day before – even if in reality it’s been a few months. We all need a friend like that.
Then there’s family who also seem like close friends – I have that with both my mum and sister and am blessed to have that. My teenage niece now being part of that close knot circle of women in our family.
So – this post is really my reflections on friends as we go through life – inspired by Friends Day.
To close, I thought it fitting to quote my favourite childhood heroine – Anne Shirley:
“True friends are always together in spirit” (L.M Montgomery – Anne of Green Gables)
Love Polly. xx